"Walking beside my dying wife" is a curated blog of posts surrounding the passing of my wife, Lorie, one of Design Group International's Founders. It is now available as a free resource for anyone wanting to move more deeply into hope. Here is a sample:
Grit
Grit lives at my house.
Grit is one letter removed from grim. It contains grim's unsmiling severity without the dismal dourness.
Grit pinches a crease just above the nose. It sets the jaw. It offers no complaint while it pushes on.
Actually, in the middle of this battle there is no capacity for complaint. Finding a way through takes all the focus the very definition of grit.
Grit is a product of realism. We are here. It isn't going to get better.
The word grit aligns with this feeling I have of walking in wet sand while carrying a rucksack full of rocks. The journey is longer than we thought. The sack feels heavier than ever. We start to wonder about the purpose of carrying rocks from one place to another. It has begun to rain. We must decide to make the most of it. Even with this. We start singing to build a cadence as we trudge along. We decide to find something satisfying in having been able to say we never quit, even if we must suffer.
|
...why...would I want to condemn a person
to a
this-world immortality with their
broken
and aging body?
|
Grit.
What better options might there be? I can't find any.
DENIAL? Sorry, but this IS happening. Denial offers no safe haven. Denial is accompanied by delay; combined, they only add injury in the end.
MAGICAL THINKING? I wish I could think of prayers for complete healing as useful, but I only experience them as insulting. Complete healing doesn't give us our 16 years back. It doesn't restore lost income or money spent to cover medicine. It doesn't spontaneously grow new organs that were removed. It does not remove harm done by chemotherapy and radiation. And why, through prayer, would I want to condemn a person to a this-world immortality with their broken and aging body?
ANGER? Anger is a strong temptation, but it is a shovel handed to someone trying to get out of a hole. The last thing I want is an aftermath from harsh words or more lost relationships. Cancer has demanded too high a price already.
DEMANDS? BARGAINING? IRRATIONAL COPING MECHANISMS? I don't know what to ask for. I have nothing left to offer and to whom would I offer it? And, I've been around ministry so long I've seen the additional destruction from "going off the deep end."
These options make a realistic gritting it out a veritable paradise by comparison.
What is going to happen is going to happen, and it will happen in its time. We will face each day, each moment, with what little reserve we have. When it is over, the sun will rise. The mountains will cast their shadows, and birds will sing. I trust these things are so even though I'm blind and deaf to them at the moment.
(c) ell vee enterprises. All Rights Reserved. No portion of these articles may be shared or republished without express written permission from the author.
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Topics:
Suffering,
Lorie L. Vincent,
Mark L. Vincent,
Design Group International,
leiomyosarcoma,
lorie vincent,
Leadership courage
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Topics:
organizational development muse,
Mark L. Vincent,
Design Group International,
leadership communication,
leadership formation,
organizational love,
spirituality and business,
long term decision making,
leadership wisdom,
vocation vs career,
career vs vocation,
capacity building,
personal clarity,
selfless leadership,
self-aware leader,
millennials in the workforce,
organizational development process,
higher education,
leading organizational change,
faith-based community,
Transforming Influence,
Effective Leadership,
Krysta DeBoer
It is baked into the DNA of Design Group International that our consultants price our work as a fixed price, tying the price to a client’s objectives. The client needs to be focused on building their organization, not on whether costs are exceeding what they budgeted!
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Topics:
process consulting,
organizational development muse,
Mark L. Vincent,
Design Group International,
mark vincent,
Communicating about money,
decluttering the company,
consultant platform,
process vs. sales,
organizational development process,
clear measurement,
business,
nonprofit,
fundraising and campaign consulting
The woman I’m fortunate to call my wife went for a walk with me in a city that lies along a lakeshore. We came across this quote from Abraham Lincoln in a speech to the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society before being elected president.
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Topics:
Mission and vision,
Vision and mission,
deep transformation,
leadership paradigm,
executive education,
Executive Development,
leadership excellence,
executive leadership training,
executive communication,
leadership communication,
leadership formation,
spirituality and business,
leadership wisdom,
personal branding,
relationship capital,
executive learning,
executive vocation,
forward-thinking realized,
business success,
organizational story,
leadership legacy,
corporate culture,
leadership transition,
identifying adaptive change,
board engagement,
Company Founder,
business,
reflections,
stakeholder engagement,
leadership,
coaching
Act first or think first? Which is you? Which is your organization?
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Topics:
process consulting,
publication
In quiet moments of late, I’ve been recalling moments from my leadership life where my best attempts to communicate were misconstrued or misunderstood. These were not bad faith incidents, although I’ve collected those experiences also. They were of the innocent variety, at least as they began. Once known, however, they threatened significant damage unless they were treated as an opportunity to listen well, make changes where needed, and communicate even more intentionally.
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Topics:
strategic planning,
leadership coaching,
business,
deep dive
My
previous reflection on long-sight generated a number of responses. Some of you who responded spoke of inspiration. Others of you pointed out that long-sightedness pushes a person beyond
moral relativism toward something they understand as eternal wisdom or truth, at the very least reflecting a solid, ethical center.
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Topics:
strategic planning,
leadership coaching,
business,
deep dive
