Perceiving is more than mere listening

I had a flabbergasting experience at an athletic shoe store.

When I entered, a young man greeted me and asked how he could help. He listened while I described my desire to find a black, athletic, and supportive shoe that could travel easily from a casual business setting to the gym. The store had at least a dozen options clearly on display. He ought to have been able to sell me something simply by helping me browse.

He asked to measure my foot without asking for my shoe size, then asked to watch my gait as I walked in stocking feet from one end of the store to the other. Without telling me my foot measurement or sharing anything he may have noticed about my perambulation, he said he had an idea and disappeared into the back room. In a moment, he was back with just one box. THE shoe, apparently. It had some black, a large logo, and would not work in a business casual environment. It fit. It was comfortable. It was not what I wanted. I told him so and why.

He had tuned into what he chose to observe, but he had not tuned in to me.

When he came with just that one shoe, I had a different one pulled from the display in my hand. I pointed to yet another shoe that fit my description and asked him about it. He did not bite and offered nothing further. 

He had done his assessment and made his recommendation. He was probably right: they would be the most comfortable shoes I'd ever worn. But shoe size, supporting my gait, and offering comfort were outside my stated considerations. None of what I did mention showed up in what he offered me except a bit of the basic color.

I was a motivated buyer, ready to buy. I provided a detailed set of what I was looking for. An almost endless set of possibilities were already in stock.

It took effort to lose my business. He succeeded.

I did not need to sell him on my desire to be sold a shoe. I left the store and found the shoe I wanted at the next place.

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The approach your Facilitator will take in Maestro-level leaders draws on Process Consulting. Rather than leading with subject matter expertise and prescriptions, the method is to listen to you, draw you out, invite you to clarify, and even challenge you to lean into a partnership of mutual discovery.

If you participate in one of our cohorts, you won't be met with cookie-cutter approaches. Instead, it is deep listening, dialing in to your context, thinking alongside you, mutual discernment, and fostering a companionship with others in that same process. Yes, we will use some tools and look at examples, but as a means for you to do your work, even as others in your cohort do theirs.

If you want to know more, please contact me: marklvincent@maestrolevelleaders.com.

-mark l vincent