Listening to the Littlest

A deeper listening

Years ago, during the hectic and joyful time when my children were young, a friend gave me a book. The actual content of the book no longer sticks with me strongly, but the title and intent of the book struck me then and continue to resonate now: it is called Listening to the Littlest, by Ruth Reardon.

While the phrase was being used in the context of our littlest people, our children, to this day it still comes to mind when I am sitting in a meeting with a client – maybe it’s our first conversation, or maybe it’s our twenty-first – and an odd statement, a hesitation, a shift in energy arrests my attention. As process consultants, we listen to the littlest: the non-verbal cues, the choices of words, the things that are left unsaid, and the implications and possibilities that lie within and beyond every sentence. I call it listening with my peripheral vision; Mark L. Vincent calls it “listening as if you love them.” It’s the kind of listening that leads to client-specific goals, processes, and solutions.

In process consulting, there is no such thing as a pre-packaged solution.  Every organization is a mural, a mile wide, and composed of a thousand unique fingerprints. Every problem we, as consultants, are brought in to explore, even if it initially presents as familiar, will have its own unique twists and turns that must be addressed. Until the consultant and client gain a deep and compassionate understanding of their specific context, the process consultant will be essentially useless to the client. 

Seeking to help a client is truly seeking to understand their context. The experiences we bring to the table will be helpful, but only if they are first set aside in order to deeply absorb the grainy intricacies of whatever is before us. We soak it in like a sponge and reflect our understanding of the situation back to the client like a mirror, allowing them to respond and correct until we have narrowed, narrowed, narrowed down into a rich level of understanding that respects and recognizes the unique nature of the client and their hopes, goals, challenges, and potential.

I was once hired to create a leadership development program for a client, and my primary contact had only recently been instated in her position. Five minutes before our initial meeting, she was handed a well-written previous attempt at defining a leadership program. She, having had no idea that this had already been written, entered the room flustered and embarrassed. 

Our planned conversation went out the window, and instead we delved into the question of seeking to understand the context in which it had been written and not implemented. Over the weeks that followed, we worked together to draw in those who had participated in the last attempt, engage the broader leadership team and employees, and update the previous attempt, while being mindful to honor their previous work. Most importantly, we ended our final presentation with recommendations to address challenges in the culture before beginning to implement the leadership development program.

When I ran into this client again a year later, she hugged me and let me know that our work together continued to influence the organization’s next steps and that our project reports had been continuously referenced ever since. Imagine the mess we might have created had we not thoughtfully and thoroughly explored the prevailing and organization-specific barriers that had prevented the program’s success the first time around!

So: once we have gained an understanding of our client’s specific context through deep listening, then what? We step into the work with our eyes and ears wide open and co-design a way forward.

People, communities, and organizations are not easily dissected and analyzed.  When we honor the context of a client, we honor the reality that the perspectives of both the process consultant and the client will continue to grow and change throughout the journey. Process consultants continuously adjust as the client continues to surprise, and they WILL surprise. People tend to do that. That’s the beauty of what we do. 

Walking alongside,

Linda Milanowski - Westdorp
Design Group International
Senior Consultant

The core competencies of process consulting have been developed and are taught by the Society for Process Consulting. If you are interested in receiving your credential in process consulting please visit our website.

Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash