Why letting go can be more difficult than you expect

One of the most helpful human and organizational change theories comes from Otto Scharmer, it’s called Theory U. Readers of A Cause Greater will recognize the author as I’ve written on how to practice his theory in real life many times.

Theory U takes you through an interconnected and human process that helps you open your mind, open your heart, and open will to the new behaviors needed to incorporate the changes you seek (please see the below graphic the describes these steps.)

Scharmer named a point in this change process where you are letting go of a past pattern of working (thinking, feeling, and being) and are sensing what is about to emerge from the future, what he calls letting come. 

The step at the very bottom of the U curve is called presencing. Which is defined as being present in the moment of letting go and sensing what is about to come to you from the emerging future.

Presencing is a very deep and personal step that we take during transformation and where you ask two very fundamental and meaningful questions. Who is my Self? and What is my Work?

Unfortunately, many people don’t ever get to the presencing step! They continue to hold onto the very thing they desperately want to let go of.

So, what’s up with that?

In working with leaders and in doing this work on myself, I’ve learned that deep change and transformation is harder than you expect. The two questions at the bottom of the U curve (Who is my Self? and What is my Work?) when answered truthfully (consider using Richard Rohr's definition of true self as you consider your answer) can shake the very foundation of who you are as a person, let alone as a leader.

This past month I was working with a Client who ran straight into his inability to let go of something he was desperately wanting to no longer hold on to.

He was keeping himself from presencing and the mystery of what could emerge in the future.

My Client is the successor CEO to a founder. One of the founder’s creations was conceptually a brilliant program designed to serve an industry. Unfortunately, the program has always been challenged in getting off the ground. The program has had various leaders, including both the founder and my Client, and has still not gotten out of the start-up phase.

In listening to my Client, I could tell that he was holding a lot of pain, anxiety, and shame that were keeping him from letting go of the program that the founder started. As we explored these feelings, I wanted to open a channel to create space for other thinkings, feelings, and actions to get expressed and explored.

So I posed, “what are you not wanting to admit to anyone?”

From that question an avalanche came out of my Client that had been pent up for a very long time. As he began to let go of all of what he was holding, he was able to recognize that he was also holding the company back from investing energy and resources in new and better ways. By keeping the program going, he was not investing valuable time in initiatives that were bearing fruit and in need of his creativity and entrepreneurial spirit.

My Client was very surprised (at himself) and didn’t realize what he had been doing all along. As he began to let go (of the program and his feelings of failure) he could begin to see what might happen next. He was able to take a step into presencing!

A step he had tried to take many times, but was never able to get to in any real or concrete way.

As you consider this story, please consider the following two questions:

• What might you be holding onto that you need to let go of?

• By holding it, what are you keeping yourself and your organization from achieving?

I’d love to listen and learn more, so please don’t hesitate to call.

Mind how you go,

Lon

Lon L. Swartzentruber

Design Group International
Co-CEO & Senior Design Partner

P.S. If you’d like to listen to an excellent podcast on Theory U, look no further than my colleague Philip C. Bergey. Link here to Episode 6 of Leadership Meets Life Podcast. 

Along with a notebook and my favorite fountain pen, what’s in my backpack?

Teaming, by Amy Edmondson

Humble Inquiry, 3^rd Edition by Peter and Ed Schein

Rereading The Essentials of Theory U, by C. Otto Scharmer