You, perhaps like me, learned of the phrase "Now and Not Now" from a family member, friend, or colleague.
For me, it was a friend who was sharing with me the complexities of dealing with others upon their learning of his ADHD diagnosis. Over breakfast, he shared how helpful this phrase (Now and Not Now) was in helping himself and others understand how his brain works. Go him!
There is Now…and there is Not Now.
Experiences in the present moment (NOW), are things that need to be tended to in this moment, creating space for his immediate attention. In other words, what is right in front of him is extremely important. In my context with him, our breakfast was very important to him. He was fully present, listened deeply, made eye contact, and responded emotionally aware to our conversation. I could tell he was here, present in this moment, and nowhere else. A huge benefit to me, and I’m sure a benefit to others he would meet with throughout his day.
A great example of what is meant by NOW.
And there is NOT NOW.
Things to tend to and dealt with that don’t have an immediate deadline, things that take place in the future, perhaps something placed on the ADHDer that is important to someone else. Things to do tomorrow, next week, by the end of the quarter, by the end of the fiscal year. A non-ADHDer experiences these timeframes.
For him, he experiences NOT NOW.
My friend works with people every day of his life (perhaps like you do.) He deals with the stresses of our VUCAA (volatile, uncertain, complex, ambiguous, and anxious) world, has a family with young children, and an organization to run. He has a lot on his plate.
I’d imagine you can see yourself in this picture, I know I do.
As I’ve gotten to know individuals with ADHD, began learning more and more about ADHD from Clients, continued my learning by reading, I started to recognize a pattern. That many people see those who are neurodivergent as less than, that something is “wrong” with them, that they are unable to handle tasks, or set and achieve SMART goals.
I’ll be honest, in my first learning about ADHD, I also wondered some of these same things.
Than a thought occurred to me. What if ADHD is a superpower? Kinda like flying for Superman, contemplation for Richard Rohr, or helping others like Mother Theresa.
What if we turned this upside down and looked at it from a totally different perspective. What if we saw ADHD as a strength and not a weakness?
A few days ago, a list came to my mind of NOW and NOT NOW and how our world does not often what us to focus on the NOW…our world wants us to focus on the NOT NOW (especially those of us who live in a hyper capitalistic nation.)
Focusing on the NOW is essential and focusing on the NOT NOW, might need to take a back seat.
Here is my list:
|
NOW |
NOT NOW |
|
What today requires |
The plans for tomorrow that I can’t even control |
|
The person in front of me |
Someone and somewhere else |
|
Being |
Doing |
|
Seeing a pattern |
Creating a chart that defines what is |
|
Listening |
Assuming |
|
Time to smell and taste |
Eating to fuel your body |
|
Wonder |
Moving on to the next thing |
|
Innovation |
Keeping the system going |
|
Sitting in discomfort |
Getting the job done |
|
Tending to what is needed |
Achieving a SMART goal |
|
Clarity |
Certainty |
What words would you add to this list?
What words would you add to NOW...what words to NOT NOW?
I am a novice in understanding ADHD, but I’m learning every day. I believe this learning is essential, because we need all of us to make our world a better place.
This year’s blog series is on the learnings you seek to acquire that will help you meet the requirements of 2026. I don’t know what those requirement are for you, but imagine that they are right in front of you, in the here and NOW, and perhaps not in the NOT NOW.
Mind how you go,
Lon
Design Group International
Co-CEO & Senior Design Partner