Can you please tell me more?
Six very simple words.
When spoken from a posture of curiosity, these words open up unlimited possibilities of understanding another human.
We live in a very polarized world. We see and experience polarization everywhere. It is in the news, in our politics, in our schools, in our businesses, in our grocery stores, in our families, even in our churches, synagogues, and mosques.
Polarization keeps relationships separated, fractured, and apart.
These six words can take us in a different direction.
When we ask, ‘Can you please tell me more?’ from a posture of curiosity, we are seeking to understand the deeper meaning of what the other person is saying to us.
As their answer to our question enters our ears and brain, there is a superpower we each have that can kick into action next. It is our empathy. Empathy has gone out of style as of late, but as humans, we each have a level of empathy.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Empathy allows us to truly see another person, to feel (even experience) what the other person is sharing with us.
This very same empathy allows us to learn more about what they mean by the words they are using, what they believe about a situation, and why that is important to them.
Can you please tell me more?, does not end with their answer to our question and our empathic listening and learning of their response. Like Captain Marvel or Superman, what happens next is how we use of that superpower for good…in this case to continue building our relationship with them.
When we respond to them and reveal a little more about ourselves, we are able to cross the chasm that polarization has created. We are able to make a step towards them rather than away from them. We have the opportunity to build something rather than destroy something.
You have this superpower. They have this superpower.
Which means that we all have this superpower.
How cool is that!
Lon
Design Group International
Co-CEO & Senior Design Partner
Along with a notebook and my favorite fountain pen, what’s in my backpack?
Becoming Trustworthy White Allies, by Melanie S. Morrison
Teaming, by Amy Edmondson
Humble Inquiry, 3rd Edition by Peter and Ed Schein