Listening: Actively and Comprehensively

Listening: the Key to Growth

In July of 2021 I received a couple of emails regarding a congregation in a nearby town that was in need of a strategic transitional leader.  The leadership of the congregation invited me to meet with them and discuss their needs.  They began to tell me their story of feeling disconnected and disjointed as a result of the pandemic and external political conflict that had bled over into the church community.  The congregation’s associate pastor was upset by the political conflict and initiated an emailed open letter to the congregation which sparked its own conflict storm, and resulted in the sudden resignation of the associate pastor.  Additionally, the Senior Pastor had been through some difficult health challenges and his doctor strongly encouraged him to retire.

This was the stormy context into which I was invited to strategize with the leadership team.  Presenting interest in my work with them was to be the strategic interim leader for the congregation.  However, as we discussed the range of issues facing the church, I suggested that some consultative work might be in order before the pastor retired in order to prepare the congregation better for a transition.  The congregation’s leaders agreed, stating that they wanted their people to begin talking to one another again.

At that point we shifted gears and began to discuss a pattern of small group gatherings that I would facilitate.  These gatherings were designed to help people listen and learn about each other’s stories.  We chose a simple pattern with some basic ground rules.  The pattern was that each participant had the opportunity to tell their story of coming to this congregation:  the why, who, what, and when of it all.  Additionally, we asked that each person identify some highlights of their time with this congregation, and some challenges they had experienced during their journey with this group.  Ground rules were established that simply asked people to tell their story and not someone else’s, to own their own feelings, and to use “I” statements when telling their story.

Six sessions were scheduled;  three in-person and three on Zoom.  All the in-person sessions were fully attended and we even expanded the number of available seats for the final session because demand was strong.  We conducted two Zoom sessions (a third session was offered but no one signed up).

While we called these sessions conversations, truly they were listening sessions.  We took careful notes, looking for repeated themes.  As each person told their own story the others in the group were tuned in and listening as well.  At the end of each session, we heard numerous comments about how good it was to hear other stories of love for the congregation each of these folks called their spiritual home.

The Beauty of "Listening Sessions"

News of these listening sessions began to spread throughout the congregation.  People were reconnecting and feeling heard.  The beauty of these listening sessions was that we were allowing people to speak about their joy and their pain.  There were real faces and real people behind stories of conflict.  New understanding was growing and a fresh enthusiasm within the congregation for one another.  Even an uncertain future could be viewed more hopefully as the congregation undergoes a significant leadership transition.

These listening sessions offered the congregation and the consultant key insights:

1. Provided a release valve for decompressing an increasingly tense communal situation.

2. Offered new understanding between various factions of the congregation.

3. Helped identify that each faction had more in common than they previously realized.

4. Named the shift in world views within the city and how those changes were impacting the congregation.  Some of the shifts were generational, others political or economic, and all the worldview shifts impacted the ministry of this congregation.

Ironically these conversations, or "listening sessions," might do more to benefit me than anyone.  As a result of these conversations, the church leaders wanted to leverage the growing relationship I had with the congregation and bring me onboard as the strategic transitional leader.  

We asked the congregational leaders to make a commitment to participate in these sessions along with other congregants.  Each session turned into an extended job interview.  One of the exposed vulnerabilities expressed by several was the feeling of uncertainty toward an interim leader.  This congregation had an uneven history of interim ministers/leaders.  Some were excellent and some were divisive.  

Leadership was watching me even as they were listening to their people.  How would I interact with people?  Would I ask deeper questions as a follow-up to each story?  How did I deal with more combative congregants or more entrenched viewpoints?  Would I affirm people who demonstrated unusual honesty and transparency about their feelings and perspectives?  What kind of transition might they anticipate working with Design Group International?

Listening actively and comprehensively is the slow path toward change or transition.  It takes time and a commitment to understand people.  We often jump to conclusions about structures and systems while losing sight that there are real people woven into each of those systems.  Their story matters, too.  I have learned much from participating in each listening session.  I hope this case study is a small reminder that change that happens at its deepest and most effective levels begins with listening.  Listening helps us learn and gives us direction so we know how to help.

If you would like a conversation about this, I invite you to contact me at gerryk@designgroupintl.com or call me at 262-389-4938.

Walking alongside,

Gerry Krupp
Design Group International
Senior Consultant

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